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Hit the Refresh Button on Leap Year Day

2/29/2016

 
by Dr. John J. Franey, CEO/Founder of Developing Difference Makers
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It only comes once every four years, yes that’s right it’s Leap Year Day! It is a fun day in our calendars that we don’t see very often.  While for some it may just seem like another day that is going to make this year even longer, for many it can be a very positive experience.  This is because it offers us a time to hit the refresh button on items that we have let slide by since the last Leap Year Day!
 
This day is a great opportunity to reflect on parts of our lives that we have neglected for the last four years.  It is a great time to reflect on parts of our lives that we have continued to put off until the next day, and the next day, and the next day.  Maybe it is that commitment to lose the weight once and for all.  Maybe it is the idea that we were going to finish the book we were writing and publish it.  Maybe there is someone in our lives that we haven’t talked to in the last four years that we wish we could get back in touch with.  Maybe it is the idea that we want to spend time with our families. Maybe it is that project in the house that we swear we will get to once we have the time and the money.  Maybe it is that vacation that we have dreamed about for years.  Maybe it is that move up the corporate ladder that we tell ourselves we deserve.
 
For each of us, the things we have neglected or put off for the last four years will be unique to our own lives and situations. The commonality is that all of us have something in our lives that we swore four or more years ago we were going to accomplish, but have never gotten around to doing it.  We have a ton of valid reasons why we never accomplished whatever it is we have neglected – too busy, too tired, too stressed, too poor, too upset – and so we continue to let leap year after leap year pass us by without movement.  Make this Leap Year Day different! Make it a day to hit the refresh button and finally move ahead on these items.  Here are four simple tasks that can help you hit the refresh button:
 
Reflect: Find a quiet, peaceful place where you can sit and reflect on what has been missing or not accomplished over the last four years.  We do not find enough time to unplug and reflect on our lives as we get too caught up in the busyness of life.  So make a commitment today to take at least 15 minutes to turn off your cell phone, find a place outside of your home or business where you won’t know anyone, and then just sit down and open your mind to the thoughts that will come flooding in.  Try to think about things that you have neglected for the last four years, not just what you didn’t get down this week.  Listen to your subconscious as it reminds you of the items that need attention.
 
Journal: After your reflection, pull out a journal or piece of paper, and begin writing down everything you just thought about.  This doesn’t have to be in perfect sentences or even make sense, just start jotting down the things that your subconscious reminded you of.  Get it all out on the paper, don’t try to justify anything you write, or even to make sense of what it all means.  You will have time for that later.  This has to be an immediate journal entry.
 
Plan: Take out your journal entry and begin putting the puzzle of thoughts together into a coherent plan of action.  On a new sheet of paper, outline the process for taking the next step in moving towards accomplishing the parts of your life you have neglected.  What do you need to do next to have forward movement?  Write it down and concentrate heavily on the first steps rather than the end of the process.
 
Take Action: Pick one of the items that you have on the plan and do it today!  Whether this is texting or calling someone you haven’t talked to in years, or its going for a walk to start your weight loss journey, just pick one item to do today!  Not tomorrow, that’s too late, it has to be today!  Chalk it up to its Leap Year Day and you are hitting the refresh button.  Tomorrow will bring all new challenges to continuing this journey, but you will have taken a step in the right direction, a step that you can build on into the future!
 
Hope these four steps help you to have a great Leap Year Day! Hope that hitting the refresh button on the items you have neglected over the last four years will propel you into even greater success and happiness in your life moving forward!

Changing the Frames People Put Around Us

2/4/2016

 
by Dr. John J. Franey, CEO/Founder of Developing Difference Makers
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The tiny classroom was filled to capacity with a handful of students who had shown up that night intent on making a difference in the world of education.   Nervousness filled the air like a thick fog, blurring the world around each of these people as they battled through their own feelings of fear and anticipation.  Through the thick fog, their eyes searched the room, looking for signs of similarity and familiarity amidst the group of students.  The students had come together for the first night of class in their Master’s Program in Education, and their eyes were scanning through the faces and bodies of the people as their brain was making snap decisions on what the other students would be like based on their outward appearance.  We don’t want to admit that our minds go through this process because of the stalwart opposition that society has built up to judging a book by its cover.  Despite the fact that society might detest the creation of these initial perceptions based on what someone looks like or dresses like, it is what the human brain does millions of times per day, searching through the surroundings for connections to previous experiences.
 
As one of the students in this course, I sat in nervous anticipation of what the night would bring, fearful of what others were thinking about me.  Knowing that they would be creating their own perceptions about me not only from what they saw, but also from what I had to say, my mind played with the dilemma of how I was going to introduce myself.  As a physical education teacher, I was fearful of the perceptions that my classmates would have about me for there are countless unfair perceptions about this profession.  The perceptions of a PE teacher as being the lowest of the low, not fit to be called a teacher, of only being able to roll a ball out onto the field for kids to play with, are not only unfair, but in most cases completely misguided.    These perceptions of PE teachers stem from years of a society that sees athletic people as just ‘dumb jocks’ who don’t belong in an academic setting. 
 
I shouldn’t have been surprised by how others judged me for I had experienced it my entire life.  Growing up as an athlete who committed himself to academics as well, I was seen as an oddity, a tradition breaker, someone who didn’t make sense to others.  As a student athlete, I did not fit into the frame that they had created in their minds for athletes.  The frame that others had built around me was a problem frame for they said that athletes were supposed to be dumb and unable to handle the rigors of an academic setting.  As I tried to show others that I did not fit into their perceptual frame, I had become tentative about admitting who I was, afraid to give others a way to box me up and put me aside.  It was with this tentativeness that I introduced myself as a PE teacher that first night of the course and instantly I could feel the frame being thrown up around me again.
 
The initial perceptions that my peers had about me would be difficult to escape as the frame they had built for me as a ‘dumb jock’ felt more like solitary confinement in a prison cell.  As a committed academic who could hold my own in this academic setting, I worked hard to prove myself a worthy member of the class and that I did not belong in the frame they had thrown up around me.  As I got to know people in my cohort, I realized that not everyone had built this original frame, as they were able to freely create a perception that stood apart from the one that society would paint for me.  The struggle to escape this kind of frame or prison cell is one that I still deal with every day, even though my years as a PE teacher are long in the past.  Even as a PhD and CEO of a company, I still push hard to try to show that I do not fit into the frame that others want to put me into.
 
Our mind wants to create perceptional frames around everything that we come across in our daily lives for it allows us to feel comfortable in our surroundings.  It seems that no matter what we are introduced to, our minds can create links and connections to a previous experience in order to make sense of a new reality.  It is from these previous experiences that our perceptions are built and so the task of changing someone’s perception is daunting for it is difficult to rewrite old memories, past experiences, and societal norms.  As someone who has struggled to escape the frame others have created around me, I must remain conscious to the idea of trying to creating fresh perspectives that can be changed and modified to fit new experiences and new people.  We all struggle with trying to figure out what others think of us, but we cannot allow others’ perceptions of us to negatively impact our ability to make a difference. ​
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